Weekend Writing Warriors: 7 July

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Weekend Writing Warriors

Hope everyone in the US had a great holiday this week. And that you’re staying cool, if you’re in one of the many parts of the country that seem to be under a heat lamp. Here in the Hudson Valley of New York State, it’s nearing 95 degrees! Ugh.

It’s time for another snippet from my WIP for the weekly Weekend Writing Warriors. If you want to know more about this blog hop, click the link or the logo to read about it and get your link listed.

The main character of my WIP, currently called STOPPING BULLETS, is a young woman, Justine, with a talent for stopping bullets and moving other things with her mind. She lives a secretive life to avoid becoming a lab rat somewhere. But her secret isn’t going to stay secret much longer.

To update: last week Justine was so distracted wondering if she would have to face Quinn, a regular at the diner where she works, that she was forgetting orders. Maria came to her rescue again before there was too much trouble. (For the full story so far, see my past Six Sentence Sunday posts! The first one is here.) We ended the last snippet at “Maria was suddenly at my side.” But I’m going to skip ahead a paragraph, since this scene setting is going on a bit. Really raises the question whether the scene setting goes too long for the scene, not just for these eight sentence snippets.

Well, here’s the next eight!

I stared at Maria as she moved on to another table. I could never manage the sweet talk. And she had covered for my screw up — again. Maria could always turn on the charm. I just brought out their inner cranky.
 
As she passed me, she whispered in sing song, “You owe me.”
 
“Yeah, whatever.” I guess I did owe Maria, and a lot, but I couldn’t worry about that now.

 

Work in progress here, but please let me know what you think!

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8 Comments

  1. Honestly? It’s a fabulous WIP. If the rest flows as smoothly as these sentences, I don’t think you have too much for the scene (though I’ve often wondered the same with mine–six to eight sentences just doesn’t get the story moving along, does it?).

    • Thanks SO much, Karysa! That’s wonderful to hear. It is hard to build the momentum of the scene in eight sentences (though I think it’s better than six). The micro-look does do some helpful things, though. The tension has eased up here, but it’ll soon increase. It will take a few more paragraphs to get there (and so nearly as many weekends), so I might consider skipping ahead, even though I’ve tried not to do that. Thanks for the feedback!

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